When we No-Sales-Taxians (it will catch on!) drive that way, there's inevitably some sort of delay. It might be construction, texting drivers, or "Oh No There Are Flurries So I Can't Remember How To Drive" Syndrome (seems to be an epidemic these days). So, what do we do? Sometimes we have to take another route in order to get where we need to be, and while it can seem like a step backwards, it's not. There's no such thing as two steps forward and one step back; it's still three steps forward. It's getting us where we want to be even if our compass tells us that we're going the wrong way.
Often in this blog you will see me refer to Route 1. For those of you out of state, Route 1 is *THE* major highway here in Delaware: The Land of No Sales Tax (I'm trying to get them to make that the state motto, but it hasn't been quite so effective). While the point of Route 1 is to be able to go north to Wilmington or I-95 or go south to the beaches, there is constant construction. Constant. It all seems timed around whenever the hell you have to get somewhere, and it can be frustrating (to be more accurate, add a word or two that you can't say on TV. Then multiply it times a million).
When we No-Sales-Taxians (it will catch on!) drive that way, there's inevitably some sort of delay. It might be construction, texting drivers, or "Oh No There Are Flurries So I Can't Remember How To Drive" Syndrome (seems to be an epidemic these days). So, what do we do? Sometimes we have to take another route in order to get where we need to be, and while it can seem like a step backwards, it's not. There's no such thing as two steps forward and one step back; it's still three steps forward. It's getting us where we want to be even if our compass tells us that we're going the wrong way. It's here. Finally. A new year and with it the equal parts cliché and real opportunities that come along with it. There were a ton of major events in 2013 in the world, and even more that, while personal to you, were thus far anonymous to the rest of us. Happy ones like babies being born and heartbreaking ones like not being able to have babies at all. It's amazing how nearly identical sentences can have completely different meanings both for yesterday and today. But they don't mean that tomorrow can't be better. Or even better than better has ever been. No matter what your 2013 was like, it's over. A blank slate, a new semester (yeah, I know, school = boos and hisses), and a chance to not just be better this year but for 2014 to be the first in a permanent line of best years of your life (no, can't promise a VH1 TV show based on your year, but we can give it a hell of a shot!). If you want it to be better, then it will. If you don't, then it won't. It's really that simple. As we settle in towards the bulk of these cold months (except for those random Delaware/Maryland days when the weather decides to jump to 70 for a single day just because it can), we're breaking out our warmer jackets, boots (with or without the fur), and scarves. Partly for fashion, but mostly to keep warm (or vice versa). Another thing that comes out is tissues. Obviously those are used when we meet, whether it's for a runny nose or one of those "no, I'm not crying, there's just something in my eye" moments (p.s., it's okay to cry, which I'll talk about in another post). Anyway, the tissues change from the normal ultra soft to the ones that are anti-viral and still soft. Yes, I'm that guy. As friends, family, and significant others, we offer that same support (minus the green and yellow unless you're a Green Bay Packers fan) in wanting to help those we care about feel better. Sometimes, though, our support can hurt more than it can help, ultimately rubbing that nose raw and tearing yourself up in the process. So where's the line between helping and hurting? With my phone being blown up for the tenth time today from texts from Amazon telling me that my package has been shipped/delivered/eaten by iguanas, I had two thoughts: 1) Man, Amazon Prime was a brilliant idea for them and a terrible one for me. 2) Are the gifts that I've ordered the right ones to give? Yes, I asked people what they wanted. Yes, I did find those things and bought them (except for a Playstation 4 because that's impossible to find and not worth the $800 it's going for on eBay). And yes, they'll be happy when they open them on whatever night of Chanukah or Christmas morning (or afternoon if I get what was on my list which was just one day to sleep in). But is that really the best way to show someone I care? On a mandated-by-Hallmark holiday? Or is there a better way to do it? *Note: I am not advocating to not get your loved ones gifts for the holidays. Unless of course you no longer want them to be your loved ones. *Note: Yes, that's the right number of la's in the title* It's that time of year again. Time to build up the courage to tell your in-laws that no, you don't like their casserole at Thanksgiving (unless you're my in-laws and reading this, because obviously I love your casserole and don't throw it out when you're not looking). Time to dig out that sweater that your aunt made for you in '93 that she still somehow expects you to fit into/like to wear (if either were ever true to begin with). Time to eat until you're about to blow and then buy that year-long gym membership to work it off, which you swear you will do starting next week because this week is just so busy/cold/ [insert excuse here]. Oh, and time to spend a ton of money you don't have in order to impress and compete with people you don't talk to from January to November. And eggnog. Lots of eggnog. With all of this comes an incredible amount of stress, so now it's more important than ever to recognize it and relieve it. And yes, I'm pretty sure there's a sale on it somewhere. Yesterday I left my office at around 6:00 PM, and it was already getting dark. I'm very glad to have windows in my office to get that natural light in, but man, stepping outside into that darkness when it had been just part of the afternoon a month ago is quite a change. This lack of daylight can feel like a downer because, well, it is. We're biologically tuned to be awake and searching for food during our daytime hours and to sleep during the nighttime ones. Unfortunately, our work schedules and school bus arrival times don't really care about that. A lack of sunlight can lead to a lot of negative feelings, including the Winter Blues, and today we're gonna talk about how to recognize it and what to do about it, whether it's you or a loved one. Lately it seems like every day I get a phone call or e-mail from a parent asking if they can talk to me about the suspicious scratches or scars that they've found on their teenage son or daughter. The explanations given by the teen are almost always the same: "It's nothing. It was the cat. It was an accident. Just forget about it and leave me alone." It usually is what we call "cutting", or intentionally using a sharp object to, well, cut one's self. The results are obvious, but the reasons are not. Always take it seriously, and seek medical attention if needed, but it is far from hopeless even if your kid feels hopeless himself. Back at the end of July, I was able to expand my hours to the daytime on Mondays as well as Thursday afternoons and every Friday. After many years of working for the State of Maryland's child welfare system, I have now expanded my practice to full-time in order to meet with the needs of my clients and the busy schedules that we all have. I'm leaving the child welfare system with a lot of wonderful memories and years of experience that allow me to really get down to it when it comes to those I get to work with here. |
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